Not Perfection is Perfection

I’ve spent the last 5 days on vacation away from home. I almost didn’t make it. On Thursday, I lay in my bed dreading having to leave my comfort zone for so long, I thought surly I would die. My wife said I could stay home, that if I was going to be miserable, its better I didn’t go but I knew that I needed to go, so go I did.

By the end of the vacation I was in a state of bliss. Anxiety? Of course but I wasn’t paralyzed with the non-stop fear that something terrible was wrong with me. I wasn’t as out going as I wanted to be but I enjoyed my time reading, hiking, and swimming with the kids.

I had plenty of time to think healthy thoughts and it struck me that the more I wish and hope for recovery, the farther away it gets. It’s like when I try to play a song on the piano perfectly, the harder I try, the worse I play. It is only when I become relaxed and just play without any thought of perfection, the music becomes perfect. Not seeking for perfection is perfection.

True recovery comes when you begin to see things as they are, to observe things as they are, and to let everything go as it goes.