about

I'm a 50-something who has been diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD), Agoraphobia, and Hypochondria. From the outside, no one would ever know. On the inside, I've been waging a war for most of my life — and this is my journey.

I started this site in March 2008 as a personal journal. A place to write honestly about what it's like to live with an anxiety disorder. Over the next two years I published 151 entries, and something unexpected happened: people found it. Individual posts received dozens, sometimes over a hundred comments from people who said "me too." Then life happened. The site went quiet after 2009.

Now it's back. Not because anxiety ever left — it didn't. It's back because I need somewhere to put the pain. And because the thing that made this site matter the first time is still true: anxiety is lonely, and knowing someone else gets it makes it a little less so.

What this is

A personal journal. Raw, honest, first-person accounts of what it's like to live with a severe anxiety disorder — not manage it perfectly, not overcome it, but live with it. The good weeks and the hard days. The small victories and the grief over everything this disease has taken.

What this is not

This is not clinical advice. I'm not a doctor or a therapist. I'm a person who has anxiety and writes about it. If you're in crisis, please reach out to a mental health professional or call the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline.