Releaning to Trust My Body

This may sound crazy but anxiety not only impacts the mind it also impacts the body — at least in my case and I’m guessing I’m not alone.

As I begin to gain mental control over this demon I’m finding that I’m not the same man I was before.  Although I have suffered with anxiety, the current debilitating bout has gone on 3 years this November.  Over those three years I have retreated and shut down.  I have stopped doing the things I enjoy.  I have become less physically active, one the lowest point being nearly bed bound.

I’m finding out that during that time I lost trust in my body to function on its on.  I think I need to concentrate on breathing, on walking, or chewing, etc.  Things that just happen automatically, things that people don’t put a second thought to, I’m concentrating on every moment to make sure my body doesn’t screw it up.

The problem with this approach is that the more you concentrate on a task the harder it becomes.  Take walking.   Rather than thinking about where you are walking to or thinking about what surrounds you, you put 100% concentration on picking up one foot and putting another foot down.  Walking all of a sudden becomes unnatural.

This I have been to be very frustrating and anxiety producing in its own but this too shall pass.  I must learn patience, if nothing more, to let things take their course.  The more I push, the worse I feel.