Going Out When You Don’t Want to Go Out

This week my anxiety has been moderately high. I have attributed it to lack of sleep and stress. Although my anxiety has been high, I have continued to push myself towards recovery. Remember, that recovery from anxiety is hard work. Just sitting in a doctor’s office every two weeks isn’t going to cure you, nor is time alone, you have to put in dedicated work if you truly want to recover.

Yesterday I used my lunch break to run errands and this morning I got the kids up early and we were first in line to have my car inspected so that I could get it registered, yes I waited until the second to last day of the month to get it done.

Today, I sat in my cube, not wanting to go out. I wanted to feel bad for myself. I wanted to find some physical defect to attach to and research the new disease I’m dying from. I wanted anxiety to win today.

As I sat here, pondering, this foreign positive thought hit me. “Get up and get going.” So I messaged a friend for a bit of support:

** Jason says:

do i go to target or do i sit here?

CM says:

go jason

CM says:

get out

That was all the push I needed. I grabbed my keys and headed to target. Remember my Great Day? Well, I have a house full of apricots that I don’t know what to do with, so I went to Target and picked up all the supplies I need to make apricot jam. Rather than running home and crawling into my bed tonight, I’ll be making jam for my friends and neighbors.