This Is Not A Sprint

Tao Te Ching, Chapter 29

*Do you want to improve the world?

I don’t think it can be done.*

*The world is sacred.

It can’t be improved.

If you tamper with it, you’ll ruin it.

If you treat it like an object, you’ll lose it.*

*There is a time for being ahead,

a time for being behind;

a time for being in motion,

a time for being at rest;

a time for being vigorous,

a time for being exhausted;

a time for being safe,

a time for being in danger.*

*The Master sees things as they are,

without trying to control them.

She lets them go their own way,

and resides at the center of the circle.*

In the early months of recovery, I felt like I always needed to be going forward at sprinters speed. Never looking back, never taking a rest, just running ahead as fast as I could. I quickly realized that there are phases to recovery. Sometimes you move ahead quickly. Sometimes you need to stop on the side of the road to rest. Other times you need to retreat a few steps to find the right trail again.

I guess it was all about my need to have control, wanting to get control back (as if I ever had it) I was willing to run and run and run until I got there. However, it wasn’t until I began to give up, stopped trying to control how I felt, that I actually began to make real progress towards wellness.

Today, I am more focused on remaining balanced, allowing things to be as they are. If I am anxious, I am anxious. If I am tired, I am tired. If I am fully of joy, I am full of joy. Remember that recover takes time, allow yourself to go at your own pace, the race is long, don’t tire yourself out by trying to get nowhere fast.