The Dog Ate My Homework

This week has been a real challenge for me. My anxiety levels have been higher than they have been when compared to recent weeks and I have an overwhelming feeling of despair. The prior three weeks had me on a bit of a high, sure my anxiety was still there and every time I walked into a restaurant my hands would sweat uncontrollably but I was sensing a light at the end of the tunnel and I wasn’t avoiding as I had done so many times in the past.

The downside of this natural high was that I stopped doing all the things that got me on that high. I stopped doing my homework assignments, the daily mood log and the daily mood survey, I stopped doing yoga, I stopped exercising — I was returning to my old, sedentary lifestyle. The side effects of these changes didn’t kick in immediately but I started to notice day by day the return of symptoms that had been dormant, lack of energy, feelings of impending doom, and the dreaded “weirdness”.

I must accept that I won’t change over-night, this must be a long term commitment and I must continue to be active in my recovery and not think that one good day excuses me from all future tests.